Make a wish.
Place it in your heart.
Anything you want.
Everything you want.
Do you have it?
Good.
Now, believe it can come true.
You'll never know when the next miracle is going to come,
from the next smile
or the next wish come true?
But if you believe it's right around the corner.
And you open up your heart and mind to the possibility of it,
to the certainty of it.
You just might get the thing that you were wishing for.
The world is full of magic.
You just have to believe in it.
So make your wish.
Do you have it?
Good.
Now believe in it.
With all your heart.
It's been said that the saddest thing that man will ever face
is what might have been.
Leave no regrets.
Choosing the right path is never easy.
It's the decision we make with only our hearts to guide us.
Sometimes we find our way to something better.
Sometimes we fight through regrets and remorse from our mistakes,
our melace and our jealousy
and the shame we feel from not being the people we're meant to be.
And that's when we find our way to something better.
Or when something better find it's way to us.
One Tree Hill.
Place it in your heart.
Anything you want.
Everything you want.
Do you have it?
Good.
Now, believe it can come true.
You'll never know when the next miracle is going to come,
from the next smile
or the next wish come true?
But if you believe it's right around the corner.
And you open up your heart and mind to the possibility of it,
to the certainty of it.
You just might get the thing that you were wishing for.
The world is full of magic.
You just have to believe in it.
So make your wish.
Do you have it?
Good.
Now believe in it.
With all your heart.
It's been said that the saddest thing that man will ever face
is what might have been.
Leave no regrets.
Choosing the right path is never easy.
It's the decision we make with only our hearts to guide us.
Sometimes we find our way to something better.
Sometimes we fight through regrets and remorse from our mistakes,
our melace and our jealousy
and the shame we feel from not being the people we're meant to be.
And that's when we find our way to something better.
Or when something better find it's way to us.
One Tree Hill.
- Music:Paolo Nutini
There's no definite answers to certain questions.
Like there's no definite way to lead a life.
But there's a definite direction.
There's a definite instruction written on "How To Lead Life" instruction booklet with a permanent marker that says
The one and only thing you have to follow, is happiness.
Don't be stupid and emo all day long.
At least be happy for 99.9%.
Emo-ing takes away your brain cells.
Trust me.
Cos I think too much
and tend to sink into sorrow.
And I feel more and more stupid
day by day.
And I don't feel like I'm living a life, you know?
Everything's just so dead when I'm unhappy.
You are suppose to lead life.
Not the other way round.
So don't let life drag you.
If you'll never stop emo-ing,
the emo-ing never stops.
And the cycle goes on and on.
There goes your happiness.
And your brain cells.
Things aren't always that bad.
It's just the way you look at them.
Perspective is very important to the way of life that you are going to lead.
It is actually, your direction, your compass.
Where's the north,
where's the south?
What about the east,
or the west?
It lies within your perspective.
Follow your heart
add a little brain juice to it.
Be happy.
Be confident.
Be positive.
Be Mickey Mouse.
There's a question in my mind.
Is there such a person
who has the WORST life in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD of all HISTORY?
Everybody thinks he/she has the worst life of all.
And most of the time, there's someone worse than he/she is.
But is there the worst person?
Is there someone worse than the rich?
Is there someone worse than the middle class people?
Is there someone worse than the poor?
Is there someone worse than the worst?
If you are able to read this,
count yourself lucky.
You have the internet.
You basically can see
and read.
And when you have a pair of eyes,
you'll have a face.
No matter how ugly or pretty you are
you still have a face.
Thank (whoever god you believe in)
that you have a face.
Okay, I, myself, don't really get the face part.
But really, if we don't have a face,
OH YUCK.
I cannot imagine that.
OOOOOOO....nofaceman! NFM!
Mao Mao
晚安。
Like there's no definite way to lead a life.
But there's a definite direction.
There's a definite instruction written on "How To Lead Life" instruction booklet with a permanent marker that says
The one and only thing you have to follow, is happiness.
Don't be stupid and emo all day long.
At least be happy for 99.9%.
Emo-ing takes away your brain cells.
Trust me.
Cos I think too much
and tend to sink into sorrow.
And I feel more and more stupid
day by day.
And I don't feel like I'm living a life, you know?
Everything's just so dead when I'm unhappy.
You are suppose to lead life.
Not the other way round.
So don't let life drag you.
If you'll never stop emo-ing,
the emo-ing never stops.
And the cycle goes on and on.
There goes your happiness.
And your brain cells.
Things aren't always that bad.
It's just the way you look at them.
Perspective is very important to the way of life that you are going to lead.
It is actually, your direction, your compass.
Where's the north,
where's the south?
What about the east,
or the west?
It lies within your perspective.
Follow your heart
add a little brain juice to it.
Be happy.
Be confident.
Be positive.
Be Mickey Mouse.
There's a question in my mind.
Is there such a person
who has the WORST life in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD of all HISTORY?
Everybody thinks he/she has the worst life of all.
And most of the time, there's someone worse than he/she is.
But is there the worst person?
Is there someone worse than the rich?
Is there someone worse than the middle class people?
Is there someone worse than the poor?
Is there someone worse than the worst?
If you are able to read this,
count yourself lucky.
You have the internet.
You basically can see
and read.
And when you have a pair of eyes,
you'll have a face.
No matter how ugly or pretty you are
you still have a face.
Thank (whoever god you believe in)
that you have a face.
Okay, I, myself, don't really get the face part.
But really, if we don't have a face,
OH YUCK.
I cannot imagine that.
OOOOOOO....nofaceman! NFM!
Mao Mao
晚安。
- Music:重伤的汗水- 动力火车
Tomorrow's Valentine's Day.
Somehow or rather, sometimes I feel that I give too much.
And no one bothers.
Is the light too dim?
Cos no one seem to notice me.
Or am I not good enough?
I can't feel the love.
I want you to know.
But I don't want to let you know.
Whatever.
Anyway, it's freaking HOT today.
Somehow or rather, sometimes I feel that I give too much.
And no one bothers.
Is the light too dim?
Cos no one seem to notice me.
Or am I not good enough?
I can't feel the love.
I want you to know.
But I don't want to let you know.
Whatever.
Anyway, it's freaking HOT today.
Believe in fairy tale.
When you do,
like in all fairy tale stories,
all your dreams will come true.
There is a happy ending.
If there isn't a happy ending for you just yet,
maybe it's not the end.
If you think that you are not destined to have a happy ending,
think again.
If you don't believe,
it will never happen.
If.. at the very end of your life (hopefully you don't die so soon)
there isn't a happy ending,
you should still be happy
cos you know that
at least you've tried.
Now,
you should be happy.
There you go.
Here's your happy ending.
Don't forget to be happy
at all times.
活在当下。
always believe that " I am destined for greatness. "
but bear in mind to not let that desire become too strong. So strong that you cannot accept the downs in your life.
________________________________________
I borrowed a book for pre-schoolers from the kid's section at the library. Okay, not only one book, but four. Up till now, I had only read one.
This is the one I read.
Title: Is A Worry Worrying You?
Author: Ferida Wolff and Harriet May Savitz
I thought that I would wanna quote some stuff out from this book.
"Do you ever have a worry that won't go away?
What is a worry, anyway?
A worry is a thought that stops you
from having fun,
from feeling good,
from being happy.
Don't bother looking for a worry
because you'll never find it.
It is invisible.
But it seems very real.
Suppose, just suppose,
one hundred elephants come to tea
and you discover you don't have any tea bags.
Uh, oh. What will you do with a herd of thirsty elephants?
Now, that's a worry!
But you can get rid of that worry by offering the elephants lemonade instead!
You can feel tired from a worry.
Or sad.
Or sick.
A worry can feel like a heavy sack is on your back.
Only it isn't there.
Suppose a gorilla at the playground borrows your skateboard
and doesn't return it when he said he would.
You give yourself a stomach ache
because you are sure that he will keep it forever.
Now, that's a worry.
But you can get rid of that worry
by going up to that gorilla and asking for it back.
Or maybe you can make a deal.
You borrow his roller blades
and the two of you can skate together.
A worry can scare you out of your shoes.
Suppose a monster moves in under your bed,
and you're afraid if you go to sleep
it will do something horrible,
so you stay awake all night.
Now, that's a worry!
But you can get rid of that worry by
singing the monster lullabies
until you both fall asleep.
<to be continued, it's late. I'll type tmr. Anyway, i don't think anyone would bother/know. Since not many know about this blog.>
Little things can strike us really hard sometimes.
And leave a huge impression.
For example, a kid's book.
It may look thin.
It may contain a tiny-weeny bit of words.
But a picture speaks a thousand words.
A few simple words paints a thousand pictures.
And for an adult to write a kid's book.
Is a challenge in my point of view.
Because they have to put themselves into the kid's point of view.
And add their own point of view.
Also, the parents' point of view.
As well as the general public's point of view.
And make sure that it's favored by many.
Perhaps that explains why there are two authors who made this masterpiece.
Sometimes when things don't go smooth/well
it is always a good idea to get back to the start.
Revisit the beginning.
Smell the fresh scent in the air.
It's not the end.
It's just the beginning.
The beginning is the start of the end.
A house have to have a good foundation.
If it doesn't,
it'll collapse easily.
Hence giving us the reason to
start from the beginning
and build the house,
block by block,
brick by brick.
Don't worry about wasting time.
Don't be afraid to face changes.
Or to make changes.
There's always something to learn.
It'll always be worthwhile.
Just learn to take baby steps.
Fall down.
Get up.
Get going.
Fall down.
Get up.
Get going.
In circles.
In cycles.
On
and
On.
Focus & Patience.
I CAN.
Inspired by: Coach Fan Xiao Ping. (the house part)
When you do,
like in all fairy tale stories,
all your dreams will come true.
There is a happy ending.
If there isn't a happy ending for you just yet,
maybe it's not the end.
If you think that you are not destined to have a happy ending,
think again.
If you don't believe,
it will never happen.
If.. at the very end of your life (hopefully you don't die so soon)
there isn't a happy ending,
you should still be happy
cos you know that
at least you've tried.
Now,
you should be happy.
There you go.
Here's your happy ending.
Don't forget to be happy
at all times.
活在当下。
always believe that " I am destined for greatness. "
but bear in mind to not let that desire become too strong. So strong that you cannot accept the downs in your life.
________________________________________
I borrowed a book for pre-schoolers from the kid's section at the library. Okay, not only one book, but four. Up till now, I had only read one.
This is the one I read.
Title: Is A Worry Worrying You?
Author: Ferida Wolff and Harriet May Savitz
I thought that I would wanna quote some stuff out from this book.
"Do you ever have a worry that won't go away?
What is a worry, anyway?
A worry is a thought that stops you
from having fun,
from feeling good,
from being happy.
Don't bother looking for a worry
because you'll never find it.
It is invisible.
But it seems very real.
Suppose, just suppose,
one hundred elephants come to tea
and you discover you don't have any tea bags.
Uh, oh. What will you do with a herd of thirsty elephants?
Now, that's a worry!
But you can get rid of that worry by offering the elephants lemonade instead!
You can feel tired from a worry.
Or sad.
Or sick.
A worry can feel like a heavy sack is on your back.
Only it isn't there.
Suppose a gorilla at the playground borrows your skateboard
and doesn't return it when he said he would.
You give yourself a stomach ache
because you are sure that he will keep it forever.
Now, that's a worry.
But you can get rid of that worry
by going up to that gorilla and asking for it back.
Or maybe you can make a deal.
You borrow his roller blades
and the two of you can skate together.
A worry can scare you out of your shoes.
Suppose a monster moves in under your bed,
and you're afraid if you go to sleep
it will do something horrible,
so you stay awake all night.
Now, that's a worry!
But you can get rid of that worry by
singing the monster lullabies
until you both fall asleep.
<to be continued, it's late. I'll type tmr. Anyway, i don't think anyone would bother/know. Since not many know about this blog.>
Little things can strike us really hard sometimes.
And leave a huge impression.
For example, a kid's book.
It may look thin.
It may contain a tiny-weeny bit of words.
But a picture speaks a thousand words.
A few simple words paints a thousand pictures.
And for an adult to write a kid's book.
Is a challenge in my point of view.
Because they have to put themselves into the kid's point of view.
And add their own point of view.
Also, the parents' point of view.
As well as the general public's point of view.
And make sure that it's favored by many.
Perhaps that explains why there are two authors who made this masterpiece.
Sometimes when things don't go smooth/well
it is always a good idea to get back to the start.
Revisit the beginning.
Smell the fresh scent in the air.
It's not the end.
It's just the beginning.
The beginning is the start of the end.
A house have to have a good foundation.
If it doesn't,
it'll collapse easily.
Hence giving us the reason to
start from the beginning
and build the house,
block by block,
brick by brick.
Don't worry about wasting time.
Don't be afraid to face changes.
Or to make changes.
There's always something to learn.
It'll always be worthwhile.
Just learn to take baby steps.
Fall down.
Get up.
Get going.
Fall down.
Get up.
Get going.
In circles.
In cycles.
On
and
On.
Focus & Patience.
I CAN.
Inspired by: Coach Fan Xiao Ping. (the house part)
- Mood:geeky
- Music:A spoonful of sugar
The complexity of humans' thoughts and feelings indirectly or directly creates a broad variety of brainwaves in our brain; poking its head into my head. The dark side of it prods and prods and prods, secretly hoping that one day, that head of mine will raise its white flag and let the negative take its place. These days, my own head has been hanging on to the edge, like a cliffhanger. "CLIFFHANGER! HANGING ON A CLIFF!" [Heh, sorry, it's just a amusing song from a kids TV program that I've chanced upon once and purposely chance upon it again and again. But that was YEARS ago! Two years ago. =] long enough? Heh. Okay, getting back to the main topic.. During those cliffhanger days, I, amusingly enough, seem to have an unlimited supply of water! Should have collected them and donate them to the reservoir ya? And god knows why the hell I can tear so easily. The feeling of being confused and lost, not knowing what's going on, not knowing what's black and white, wondering whether is there an absolute any more, wondering where to go from where I was, or maybe, from where I still am. Are my heart and soul feeling what my brain is thinking? Or vice versa? Oh, I realised, vice versa or not, it's the same. Haha. Cos I'm still confused! HOHOHO! Hmm. Well well, I wish that I could. If so, I would. The thirst is hard to quench. The fire is hard to extinguish. The mess is hard to unentangle. The attraction is hard to be repulsed. And we always ask, "Why must this happen to me?" The reason is simple. Life just likes to kick us around sometimes. It'll be hard but we will always get past it and things will get better. We will get tougher as we get through tough times. And at certain point when we look back, a magical feeling will overwhelm our hearts. We are not only survivors. We are warriors.
I want more alpha and theta brain waves!!
Whenever a shot is made, the sound follows after. And there's the jump. And the follow-through. This feeling is.. Wow. Haha. Love it. But this particular nice feeling occurs only when there's the presence of confidence and self-believing. Where's that presence of mine when I need it most? The negative kicks in every time I have to perform, unconsciously. It always seem right to the unconscious mind of mine that I have to do badly to be normal. I want to fight this. I want to be in control. I want to be the control. I want to win myself, the unconscious me. With more alpha and theta brain waves. =]
I'll burn whenever a matchbox rub against me. That matchbox is my own creation of irritation. Why did I let all of it get to me? Self-note. I'll take it all. All. It's not good whenever I burn. Bitterness is poisonous. It gets to the people around you. So why be bitter? What can I change by being bitter? Nothing. I have to add some sugar. These sugar crystal are made of positive self-talk. I need more practice.
Very good, here's a pearl for you~! HAHAHAH!
- Mood:
pensive - Music:痒
There's a sour feeling in my heart and my chest area since twelve in the afternoon, seventeen January of two thousand and nine. It's hurting inside, it's tearing inside, it's shouting inside. Up to now, I have not let it out totally. I just wish that I know what's going on. Or rather, what has happened.
It's screwed.
What have I done?
What did I not do in the comp that I've done in my trainings?
What did I do in the comp that I've not done in my trainings?
I wish that I can tell you how I feel about you
I'm scared. I'm confused
Am I suppose to feel this way
When I look at you
I'm suffocating
When others are with you
I feel uneasy
I wish that you know how I'm feeling inside right now
I need you to console me
I'm more fragile than you think I am.
Looping the same song. Facing the same scenario.
It's over. But I know that I can do better. I'm not about to give up.
I just wish that I know why it happened/ what happened.
Like this journal entry, many spaces are left in me. In my brain, in my heart. Spaces and more spaces. Blanks and more blanks.
By the way, F that mother F-er.
Give it back.
It's screwed.
What have I done?
What did I not do in the comp that I've done in my trainings?
What did I do in the comp that I've not done in my trainings?
I wish that I can tell you how I feel about you
I'm scared. I'm confused
Am I suppose to feel this way
When I look at you
I'm suffocating
When others are with you
I feel uneasy
I wish that you know how I'm feeling inside right now
I need you to console me
I'm more fragile than you think I am.
Looping the same song. Facing the same scenario.
It's over. But I know that I can do better. I'm not about to give up.
I just wish that I know why it happened/ what happened.
Like this journal entry, many spaces are left in me. In my brain, in my heart. Spaces and more spaces. Blanks and more blanks.
By the way, F that mother F-er.
Give it back.
- Mood:
drained - Music:Linkin Park- Given up
It's been a long time since I had visited livejournal. Not to mention, posting an entry. And guess what just happened, I typed many many sentences, clicked the wrong button and POOF! It's gone. Well, I hope my brain can be trusted to type everything down again. Oh, not to forget, my hands too. No point crying over spilt milk anyway. Can't pick it back since it's liquid. Can't get those words back since it's the computer. Don't think I'll be able to get every word back but I guess it's meant to disappear. Fate is behind this. And i wonder what are the cops doing when such a baddie is at loose. Okay, joking.
The reason why I came to visit my blog is because someone reminded me that it exists. And i think i'll continue posting. You might be shocked, but I love typing. Time to step up in my language anyway.
Today is my last day being fifteen years old. In about fifty minutes later, I'm officially old. Older. I'll miss being 15. I'll lose the chance to say, "Oh, I can't watch this movie! It's NC 16! Drats!" and no more asking Mr. Nice Guy to help me buy NC 16 tickets, telling him that we forgot to bring our EZ-link. Hahaha. That day is hilarious, i must say. If Jodie chance upon this blog, she'll understand what I mean. And also, no more standing outside billiards hall, staring helplessly at the "Above 16 only" notice. Oh and I won't be very much protected by the law anymore. Cos I can have sex legally when I reach the age of sixteen. Oh man. Hahaha. Not that I need much protection anyway. I BET I'm sensible enough. Unless I got drugged unknowingly or drunk. Then that'll be too bad. AND.. No more student price bus and train fare anymore too. Since I'm enrolling into a Polytechnic, the government doesn't want us anymore. My dear school should find better options. Or open up a pre-university course themselves. Kelvin gave me wrong info.
Sixteen is creeping towards me, as the clock is ticking away. That is how time works. It just goes on and on and on without any of our consent. Looking back at my past entries, I concluded something. People change. I've changed. And when birthdays arrives, they'll just act as a reminder to every human, that we are ageing and not only will there be additional wrinkles or pimples or old spots or saggy skins. There are also additional responsibilities creeping onto our shoulders, additional worries to worry about. Having birthdays means having to face the next phase in our lives. And each phase seems to increase in difficulty after another. It's inevitable. Like what i said, time just goes on and on and on. The load on our shoulders gets heavier day by day, but we just can't throw it off. After one problem is solved, another appears. Once obstacle is crossed, another appears. Once a challenge is fought, another appears. It's no wonder humans tend to hunch like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. No offense to that storybook character.
People say, "Why so serious?" I'll ask them, "Why not? No one will take you seriously if you're not serious. And there're times when we have to be serious." And they'll say, "Just don't get too serious but also don't cut the slack too much." And i'll ask, "How? Can you even achieve that yourself?" And they'll look at me for a while. I thought I got them. But they'll say, "Nothing is impossible." And i'll ask, "What makes you think so? Not everything is possible." And I know I'm right, and I thought that I really got them down this time. But they say, "Look on the bright side, dude!" There are loopholes in every sayings, every philosophy, every teachings. And everything goes in circles. Not only what goes around, comes around. It's also the things that goes in a cycle. Just like the conversation in my head that starts almost every second. There's the up to take things up and the down to take things down. It may be illustrated as the merry-go-round or the ferris wheel or even the see-saw. What goes up must come down. This explains why when one disappears, another appears. Just like life and death. When a human dies, a baby is born. They say, " It's the journey that matters, not the destination." Humans are brought to earth to live, and to die. Death is every human's fixed destination in life. Pretend that you've reach that particular destination, allow me to ask you a question. "Does this destination matter to you at this point in time?" Now, this question may turn into a very complicated and tough question. But it may be simple as well. It may not matter to some people who don't mind dying. But what about the people around them? The people they love and the people who love them? Even if I had said to my loved ones that I love them many many times, but when death comes around, that many many times will not be enough. Humans are greedy, they'll want more.
I can go on and on in this entry. But it's getting late. Humans need to sleep. Some say sleeping is a waste of time. We just have to sleep. It's an enjoyment, too. But when one is desperately needing extra time, one will agree to the first sentence.
Be a good guy, but how many people can be a total good guy? There're no black and white. Just only grey.
There are always two sides to a coin.
And now, it's 12 plus. I'm officially sixteen.
Oh and the movie, YES MAN, is very very very good. One of the best movies I've watched. Very funny and inspirational. The sense of humour is great. Thanks to Amanda and Vanessa and Jodie and Jianhuan. For? Everything. Haha. Funny "rule" about some superstitious thingy that Jodie made up.. "Do not open presents before the birthday comes. Or you will have one year of bad luck." 白痴!! Hahahahaaha.
Btw, the uncle at the billard hall @ dhoby ghaut area is surely suffering from PMS. Or perhaps he just needs someone to teach him about providing quality customer service. He definitely needs one. OR maybe millions of those kind of lessons. Okay, I'm wrong too. =]
The reason why I came to visit my blog is because someone reminded me that it exists. And i think i'll continue posting. You might be shocked, but I love typing. Time to step up in my language anyway.
Today is my last day being fifteen years old. In about fifty minutes later, I'm officially old. Older. I'll miss being 15. I'll lose the chance to say, "Oh, I can't watch this movie! It's NC 16! Drats!" and no more asking Mr. Nice Guy to help me buy NC 16 tickets, telling him that we forgot to bring our EZ-link. Hahaha. That day is hilarious, i must say. If Jodie chance upon this blog, she'll understand what I mean. And also, no more standing outside billiards hall, staring helplessly at the "Above 16 only" notice. Oh and I won't be very much protected by the law anymore. Cos I can have sex legally when I reach the age of sixteen. Oh man. Hahaha. Not that I need much protection anyway. I BET I'm sensible enough. Unless I got drugged unknowingly or drunk. Then that'll be too bad. AND.. No more student price bus and train fare anymore too. Since I'm enrolling into a Polytechnic, the government doesn't want us anymore. My dear school should find better options. Or open up a pre-university course themselves. Kelvin gave me wrong info.
Sixteen is creeping towards me, as the clock is ticking away. That is how time works. It just goes on and on and on without any of our consent. Looking back at my past entries, I concluded something. People change. I've changed. And when birthdays arrives, they'll just act as a reminder to every human, that we are ageing and not only will there be additional wrinkles or pimples or old spots or saggy skins. There are also additional responsibilities creeping onto our shoulders, additional worries to worry about. Having birthdays means having to face the next phase in our lives. And each phase seems to increase in difficulty after another. It's inevitable. Like what i said, time just goes on and on and on. The load on our shoulders gets heavier day by day, but we just can't throw it off. After one problem is solved, another appears. Once obstacle is crossed, another appears. Once a challenge is fought, another appears. It's no wonder humans tend to hunch like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. No offense to that storybook character.
People say, "Why so serious?" I'll ask them, "Why not? No one will take you seriously if you're not serious. And there're times when we have to be serious." And they'll say, "Just don't get too serious but also don't cut the slack too much." And i'll ask, "How? Can you even achieve that yourself?" And they'll look at me for a while. I thought I got them. But they'll say, "Nothing is impossible." And i'll ask, "What makes you think so? Not everything is possible." And I know I'm right, and I thought that I really got them down this time. But they say, "Look on the bright side, dude!" There are loopholes in every sayings, every philosophy, every teachings. And everything goes in circles. Not only what goes around, comes around. It's also the things that goes in a cycle. Just like the conversation in my head that starts almost every second. There's the up to take things up and the down to take things down. It may be illustrated as the merry-go-round or the ferris wheel or even the see-saw. What goes up must come down. This explains why when one disappears, another appears. Just like life and death. When a human dies, a baby is born. They say, " It's the journey that matters, not the destination." Humans are brought to earth to live, and to die. Death is every human's fixed destination in life. Pretend that you've reach that particular destination, allow me to ask you a question. "Does this destination matter to you at this point in time?" Now, this question may turn into a very complicated and tough question. But it may be simple as well. It may not matter to some people who don't mind dying. But what about the people around them? The people they love and the people who love them? Even if I had said to my loved ones that I love them many many times, but when death comes around, that many many times will not be enough. Humans are greedy, they'll want more.
I can go on and on in this entry. But it's getting late. Humans need to sleep. Some say sleeping is a waste of time. We just have to sleep. It's an enjoyment, too. But when one is desperately needing extra time, one will agree to the first sentence.
Be a good guy, but how many people can be a total good guy? There're no black and white. Just only grey.
There are always two sides to a coin.
And now, it's 12 plus. I'm officially sixteen.
Oh and the movie, YES MAN, is very very very good. One of the best movies I've watched. Very funny and inspirational. The sense of humour is great. Thanks to Amanda and Vanessa and Jodie and Jianhuan. For? Everything. Haha. Funny "rule" about some superstitious thingy that Jodie made up.. "Do not open presents before the birthday comes. Or you will have one year of bad luck." 白痴!! Hahahahaaha.
Btw, the uncle at the billard hall @ dhoby ghaut area is surely suffering from PMS. Or perhaps he just needs someone to teach him about providing quality customer service. He definitely needs one. OR maybe millions of those kind of lessons. Okay, I'm wrong too. =]
- Mood:
thoughtful - Music:Lighthouse, Eason Chan
This week. I tell you, it sucks. Big time.
I screwed up tests.
I actually read the freakin' question wrongly..
Realised it along the way and corrected it.. but affected the other questions. SIAN.
Really wanted to cry right after the test..for being stupid.
it's like.. HOW COULD I READ WRONGLY?!
I really love the library.
And for other tests, esp biology..
though i got an A1, i felt that i didn't do well enough..
Same goes to other subjects.
I'm really slacking too much.. haha.
I should slap myself awake alrd.
I screwed up tests.
I actually read the freakin' question wrongly..
Realised it along the way and corrected it.. but affected the other questions. SIAN.
Really wanted to cry right after the test..for being stupid.
it's like.. HOW COULD I READ WRONGLY?!
I really love the library.
And for other tests, esp biology..
though i got an A1, i felt that i didn't do well enough..
Same goes to other subjects.
I'm really slacking too much.. haha.
I should slap myself awake alrd.
Haha. Skimming through my previous posts, i find myself being emo. I want to be an emu. For fun.
Anyway, my shooting is still quite stagnant. except i got back 361 for once on my last OPEN monthly shoot..I hate being like this. I'm quite lucky to have friends who understands and people who are willing to give me more chances. Thank you all.
________________________________________
2nd Asian Air gun Championship 2008 (4th-9th April 2008)
Nanjing, China.
-Gosh! Firstly, our lodgings.
We stayed at this Jiu Long Hu hotel in a "ulu" part of nanjing.
Tell you what. There's no freakin' shops nearby! Not to mention, supermarkets and shopping centres. Really very "ULU". I.O.W deserted.
But! The rooms are considerably nice. Except that there's only one pillow and a cushion..no extra, NO refrigerator, NO utensils..bla bla. There's something weird though..there's a weighing machine in the room! Quite cool. But WHY THE HELL IS IT THERE?! We expected a fridge to be there instead. hahahaha. I like the hair dryer. Haha. Blows the hair well. (:
There's FREE internet connection there! YEAH! But justin was hogging my laptop all the time.. -_- And here comes Jodie telling me, "Just pretend you didn't bring your laptop along!"
But youtube loads damn slow over there. Sadly. ):
Aqilah & Jasmine's room's toilet door is faulty. Can't lock, haha. And the way they were trying to hide their *Hem-Hem* everytime someone steps into their room, it's damn comical. Esp. Jasmine. haha.. xD
Ppl smokes in the freakin' hotel! OH MAN I HATE THE STINKING SMOKE FROM THE STINKING CIGARETTES!
But two coaches love to smoke, good gracious. Haha. =S
Btw, i don't know who..but someone smoked in MY room!!! I returned from the range and caught the scent of the stinking smoke..freakin' stinko~ I wonder who Fan Coach brought in...anyway.. i don't like that. I threw the stupid cigarette bud out of the window right away. Whee~! There goes the stinkin' cigarette! =D Wahaha~!
As you should know..*or maybe you don't..opps.*
The weather there is cold. It's not snowing, but it's COLD.
The wind is windy..you can see water vapour steaming out from your mouth when we're outside at night. We've been playing with that "SMOKE" all along those days at nanjing. Call it childish if you wish..but that's us! HEHE! xP
Secondly.. The RANGE!
It's cold in there, everywhere. The range itself, the cafeteria, the toilet (okay, maybe this one isn't that bad), the corridor, the stairway, the armory..like i've said, everywhere.
And when u collect the weapons, the gun is cold. And this includes the metal cylinder. Apparently, the gas kinda leaks out due to contraction. This is bad. But it wouldn't affect us. (: The range looks like the one at Malaysia, KL. (is that KL?) Anyway, it's the one that we went for SEASA. But there's one diff. It's 60 lanes of electronic target and around 10 or less paper target ones. Haha.
Btw, my training before my competition didn't go that smooth.(5th, 6th, 7th April) I couldn't carry out my actions well.
Anyway, my shooting is still quite stagnant. except i got back 361 for once on my last OPEN monthly shoot..I hate being like this. I'm quite lucky to have friends who understands and people who are willing to give me more chances. Thank you all.
________________________________________
2nd Asian Air gun Championship 2008 (4th-9th April 2008)
Nanjing, China.
-Gosh! Firstly, our lodgings.
We stayed at this Jiu Long Hu hotel in a "ulu" part of nanjing.
Tell you what. There's no freakin' shops nearby! Not to mention, supermarkets and shopping centres. Really very "ULU". I.O.W deserted.
But! The rooms are considerably nice. Except that there's only one pillow and a cushion..no extra, NO refrigerator, NO utensils..bla bla. There's something weird though..there's a weighing machine in the room! Quite cool. But WHY THE HELL IS IT THERE?! We expected a fridge to be there instead. hahahaha. I like the hair dryer. Haha. Blows the hair well. (:
There's FREE internet connection there! YEAH! But justin was hogging my laptop all the time.. -_- And here comes Jodie telling me, "Just pretend you didn't bring your laptop along!"
But youtube loads damn slow over there. Sadly. ):
Aqilah & Jasmine's room's toilet door is faulty. Can't lock, haha. And the way they were trying to hide their *Hem-Hem* everytime someone steps into their room, it's damn comical. Esp. Jasmine. haha.. xD
Ppl smokes in the freakin' hotel! OH MAN I HATE THE STINKING SMOKE FROM THE STINKING CIGARETTES!
But two coaches love to smoke, good gracious. Haha. =S
Btw, i don't know who..but someone smoked in MY room!!! I returned from the range and caught the scent of the stinking smoke..freakin' stinko~ I wonder who Fan Coach brought in...anyway.. i don't like that. I threw the stupid cigarette bud out of the window right away. Whee~! There goes the stinkin' cigarette! =D Wahaha~!
As you should know..*or maybe you don't..opps.*
The weather there is cold. It's not snowing, but it's COLD.
The wind is windy..you can see water vapour steaming out from your mouth when we're outside at night. We've been playing with that "SMOKE" all along those days at nanjing. Call it childish if you wish..but that's us! HEHE! xP
Secondly.. The RANGE!
It's cold in there, everywhere. The range itself, the cafeteria, the toilet (okay, maybe this one isn't that bad), the corridor, the stairway, the armory..like i've said, everywhere.
And when u collect the weapons, the gun is cold. And this includes the metal cylinder. Apparently, the gas kinda leaks out due to contraction. This is bad. But it wouldn't affect us. (: The range looks like the one at Malaysia, KL. (is that KL?) Anyway, it's the one that we went for SEASA. But there's one diff. It's 60 lanes of electronic target and around 10 or less paper target ones. Haha.
Btw, my training before my competition didn't go that smooth.(5th, 6th, 7th April) I couldn't carry out my actions well.
I cried. Ha. Threw a tantrum. Felt very alone..thought i was abandoned. See how innocent i am? Yap, that's how innocent i am. To put it in a ugly way, it's quite dumb. Haha.
I've just got the SEASA photos... thanks to jos.. :)
________________________________________
31st South East Asia Shooting Championships 2007
Tagging the pistol case.. (:
Woo~ God knows when this is taken..i think she's just testing the camera..
Our first photo together! =)
Loads of ppl over there thought we're sisters..watcha lookin' at? O'cos we're not. Haha.
Oh my.. i can remember how glaring the sun is..
esp. in front of the swimming pool,
with everything reflecting back into ur eyes..hurt like hell..ouch. =(
damn hot too..but all is worth it i guess.. =)
Even though i didnt do superb-ly well..
At least my actions are clear and i know what i'm doin' and what's wrong.
After all...everyone has their own ups and downs..338/400 is the super down i've gone.. even deeper then my first competition which is 343/400. Pathetic. Well...my arm spoilt it all. Whose fault? obviously mine. but right now..(17Nov) Everythings fine for me except that my shoulder and arm and legs are aching for the past few days..so shaky how to train?! O.o
sigh. -_-
It seems that my mind is far farr farrr away.. haha.. so "GonG"
The senior shooters (or rather the real winners)
went back s'pore without their lovely medals..
We went to help them collect..
I now understand the difference of taking my own medal and someone else's medals.
If u understand wad i meant. =) That 'feel' is total diff.
________________________________________
31st South East Asia Shooting Championships 2007
Tagging the pistol case.. (:
Woo~ God knows when this is taken..i think she's just testing the camera..
Our first photo together! =)
Loads of ppl over there thought we're sisters..watcha lookin' at? O'cos we're not. Haha.
Oh my.. i can remember how glaring the sun is..
esp. in front of the swimming pool,
with everything reflecting back into ur eyes..hurt like hell..ouch. =(
damn hot too..but all is worth it i guess.. =)
Even though i didnt do superb-ly well..
At least my actions are clear and i know what i'm doin' and what's wrong.
After all...everyone has their own ups and downs..338/400 is the super down i've gone.. even deeper then my first competition which is 343/400. Pathetic. Well...my arm spoilt it all. Whose fault? obviously mine. but right now..(17Nov) Everythings fine for me except that my shoulder and arm and legs are aching for the past few days..so shaky how to train?! O.o
sigh. -_-
It seems that my mind is far farr farrr away.. haha.. so "GonG"
The senior shooters (or rather the real winners)
went back s'pore without their lovely medals..
We went to help them collect..
I now understand the difference of taking my own medal and someone else's medals.
If u understand wad i meant. =) That 'feel' is total diff.
- Mood:
ecstatic
Could someone help me count how many days/weeks/months i have not posted in this journal? 0.o i kinda lost count..
But..i've nvr spoken a word to anyone 'bout this journal..
so who the hell am i talking to?!
oh gosh.. i'm mad.
Alright...to get things back on track..
Generally..my days are as follows..
________________________________________
12-26 September 2007
I flew off to Bangkok, Thailand
for a training "camp"
For the first few days..
I'm not talking to any single soul..
I'm seem so depressed nowadays..
I sometimes feel that it's just me making me feel this way..
But i just feel very very very very very DOWN.
I'm not even talking to jian huan or jodie...
What's wrong with me?
I seem seperated with my social life...
looking at everyone..
I wanna approach them..
But everything just seemed to be stopped..
Trying to let myself go..
and finally..
for the next few days..
I'm TALKING AND LAUGHING..
believe it or not..
We went to the night bazar there.
And went to this platinum thingy.
And went to Jatujak
And we just SHOPPED.
Guess what?
I didn't buy a single shit from any of these places..
erm.. except for a name strap thingy and drinks and a sketched portrait.
INSTEAD, i bought 38 DVDs from the shopping centre beside my hotel..
Believe it or not..
A'ight.
Training.
For the First few days..(until 18th Sept)
NO FREAKIN' COACH IS COACHING ME.
But at least Fan Coach cares a little...
Believe it or not..
And for the next few days..
Mr Eddie kinda came to my rescue..
he took me under him..
taught me a few stuff...
AND i scored 98/100 for one of my series!
Was damn happy..
Eight 10s and two 9s.
GOSH. and
Thanks too. =)
I joined this "Thailand Open" competition..
Haha.. guess what..
i got 360/400..
i'm like "WOW"
i didnt know i'm so good i can actually go around the same old score without even trying to do so..
Give me some applause man..
DAmn.. i'm sacastic.
I really look forward to the day i can improve during competitions...
and i stress once more.. COMPETITIONS.
(back to Fan Coach teachings..
Take one step at a time,
cos one day i will succeed.)
I will always remember that.
I can say that this training camp helps.
Cos i'm not so particular about scores anymore..
Actions are what i'm concern about.
And hey JH. i think that day when we drank, it's damn funny..
HAHA.
But..i've nvr spoken a word to anyone 'bout this journal..
so who the hell am i talking to?!
oh gosh.. i'm mad.
Alright...to get things back on track..
Generally..my days are as follows..
________________________________________
12-26 September 2007
I flew off to Bangkok, Thailand
for a training "camp"
For the first few days..
I'm not talking to any single soul..
I'm seem so depressed nowadays..
I sometimes feel that it's just me making me feel this way..
But i just feel very very very very very DOWN.
I'm not even talking to jian huan or jodie...
What's wrong with me?
I seem seperated with my social life...
looking at everyone..
I wanna approach them..
But everything just seemed to be stopped..
Trying to let myself go..
and finally..
for the next few days..
I'm TALKING AND LAUGHING..
believe it or not..
We went to the night bazar there.
And went to this platinum thingy.
And went to Jatujak
And we just SHOPPED.
Guess what?
I didn't buy a single shit from any of these places..
erm.. except for a name strap thingy and drinks and a sketched portrait.
INSTEAD, i bought 38 DVDs from the shopping centre beside my hotel..
A'ight.
Training.
For the First few days..(until 18th Sept)
NO FREAKIN' COACH IS COACHING ME.
But at least Fan Coach cares a little...
And for the next few days..
Mr Eddie kinda came to my rescue..
he took me under him..
taught me a few stuff...
AND i scored 98/100 for one of my series!
Was damn happy..
Eight 10s and two 9s.
GOSH. and
Thanks too. =)
I joined this "Thailand Open" competition..
Haha.. guess what..
i got 360/400..
i'm like "WOW"
i didnt know i'm so good i can actually go around the same old score without even trying to do so..
Give me some applause man..
DAmn.. i'm sacastic.
I really look forward to the day i can improve during competitions...
and i stress once more.. COMPETITIONS.
(back to Fan Coach teachings..
Take one step at a time,
cos one day i will succeed.)
I will always remember that.
I can say that this training camp helps.
Cos i'm not so particular about scores anymore..
Actions are what i'm concern about.
And hey JH. i think that day when we drank, it's damn funny..
HAHA.
24th Sepetember 2007
Monday..
H A H A.. more running. -_-
I'll rather carry more weights..
And! Why am i not slimming down after all those stupid excercises?! CRAP!
Haiz..
I feel so fat.
Well.. i am fat.
________________________________________
25th September 2007
Tuesday..
Been slacking during maths lessons these days..
I shouldn't have right? haha. naughty girl. XD
There's maths test on Friday.. but i dont seem to be nervous..
That's abnormal..well. at least for me, it is.
Monday..
H A H A.. more running. -_-
I'll rather carry more weights..
And! Why am i not slimming down after all those stupid excercises?! CRAP!
Haiz..
I feel so fat.
Well.. i am fat.
________________________________________
25th September 2007
Tuesday..
Been slacking during maths lessons these days..
I shouldn't have right? haha. naughty girl. XD
There's maths test on Friday.. but i dont seem to be nervous..
That's abnormal..well. at least for me, it is.
Hi..i'm back..
i dont like coming back all of the sudden..
i rather stay in that cage-prison-school instead..
sigh.
________________________________________
17th September 2007
nth much happened..
wake up, bathe, go sch,
oh ya.. my math textbook and exercise book is confiscated..
during geog lesson..haha. tht ms wee.
was presentation time for a group..
didnt finish my work..
hence wanna take that time to do it..
anyway its boring..the presentation.
haha. sry.
then later..go physical training..
wahh.. tiring lah...
run and run.
hate running.
was thinking about milo right after the run..
haha..
Bleah. xP
came back to hostel..
bathe..study late late again..
sian.
________________________________________
18th September 2007
nth much happened..
after shooting..mr eddie reminded us about the sailors coming to SAFRA..
he shouldn't have mentioned..
damn..
i really not the teaching type..
haiyo.
luckily he said he will help me..
ha.
________________________________________
19th September 2007
We went to SAFRA right after school..
together with the sailors..
by coach..
It turns out that mr eddie is not here..
sigh..
and i really taught badly..
haha...made the sailors laugh.. quite embarrassing
the sailors all felt that shooting is tough..
esp. air pistol.. but there is a question from me..
they have huge muscles and are stronger than me..
why are they shaking?
i still cant find the answer to this question...
i'm not discriminating these ppl.. i'm just curious.
but that session is really fun...i have better bond with them after it too..
and i'm happy. :) yay.. :D
________________________________________
20th September 2007
Went for shooting...
Know that the ppl from kids central are coming to SAFRA...
only found out yesterday..
i stepped into the place... saw three ppl outside the range...
i have a weird feeling about them..
but didnt bother much..
i just go into the range..then spencer told me and huan..
"u both are wanted.."
i am like "huh", "oh", "oh man"
haha..
they ARE the kids central ppl.
we had a one to one interview thing..
i went first..
ask me a few questions..
said wanna know my personality..
and they took picture of both of us..using a handphone cam..the pixels quite blur.. :(
and.. i saw this lady.. she is gorgeous.. i am awe by her looks and smile man...
hehe hoho haha..
still thinking of her now.. xP
they are really nice ppl.
enjoyed the interview for once.
erm.. i did something embarrasing too..
after they left.. i kind of said loudly.. "huh..never say byebye.."
then i shouted "byebye.." and waved to the closed door..
haha.. then i picked up my bottle of bubble i just bought ystd..
and started blowing lots of bubbles..
i turned my head to the right to admire my bubbles..
then it appeared that there's a lady who havent left yet..
i was like "OH NO.. so ma-lu.. oh man... oh man..."
then i quickly turned away...
and said "pretend u never see anything.."
know what she replied?
"i see anything.."
GREAT.. i am so dead.. =X
so damm pai-seh lah.. but funny too. haha.
After training.. i walked out of the range..
i see huan.. her nose is red and her eyes too.
I think she cried.. but never said it out loud..
We wanted to leave for school.. but keep dragging.. haha..XP
then they (jun, huan and all) talked about a few stuff..
while i blow my bottle of bubbles..XD
and i got back to school..
found out that mr eddie is in hospital..
For Eight hours
Reminds me of that mint chocolate.. haha (:
__________________
21st September 2007
Friday.. home day... dont seem to be looking forward to it..
sigh.
While waiting for huan (HCL lesson), i just noticed something..
she simply love to write with her pen capped on a blank piece of paper..
and she actually "reads" it. -_-
She also like to laugh to herself..like some maniac.. haha.. but very cute.. ^-^
something i like about her.. :)
went for shooting..
shot a little messy but at least i know what's wrong..
haha..then i went back..
i ran for the bus..with my luggage tagging behind me..
my first time running with a huge luggage..hm. wait..it ain't exactly that huge.
Met lao da... chatted with her.. nice chat. laughed loads..
I really miss everyone.. :(
________________________________________
22nd September 2007
Nothing much.. quarrelled with mum again.. haiz. why am i so bad-tempered?
slack with homework once again.. -_-
________________________________________
23rd September 2007
Went for shooting first in the morning..
Monthly shoot just over when i arrived..
Ppl ask me.. "Why are u here?"
"Training"
"wow.. u are sure hardworking..sunday leh!"
Mr eddie "Good.."
Then there is this guy..with ruggard clothes and messy, long, curly hair..
He came to SAFRA..
Had a feeling as though he was my friend..
And i wonder why he is here..
He seemed damn familiar..
It appears that he came to take some photos of SAFRA's facilities for the Youth Olympics 2010.
He just came into the range and took photos.. and took a few of me.. without me saying "yes"..
But for the consecutive shots.. i just kind of allowed him to..
And surprisingly.. i shot quite well during that period.. haha.
He tried shooting.. and totally missed the target card.. which is quite normal among beginners..
Then he started to tell me about his experience (he went for SEA games 4 times, 2 commonwealth games and 1 olympic games to take photos)
Photography is appealing to me..
And i swear that i'm gonna learn it someday.
I swear.
He's Aundrey.
ATXY tm
i dont like coming back all of the sudden..
i rather stay in that cage-prison-school instead..
sigh.
________________________________________
17th September 2007
nth much happened..
wake up, bathe, go sch,
oh ya.. my math textbook and exercise book is confiscated..
during geog lesson..haha. tht ms wee.
was presentation time for a group..
didnt finish my work..
hence wanna take that time to do it..
anyway its boring..the presentation.
haha. sry.
then later..go physical training..
wahh.. tiring lah...
run and run.
hate running.
was thinking about milo right after the run..
haha..
Bleah. xP
came back to hostel..
bathe..study late late again..
sian.
________________________________________
18th September 2007
nth much happened..
after shooting..mr eddie reminded us about the sailors coming to SAFRA..
he shouldn't have mentioned..
damn..
i really not the teaching type..
haiyo.
luckily he said he will help me..
ha.
________________________________________
19th September 2007
We went to SAFRA right after school..
together with the sailors..
by coach..
It turns out that mr eddie is not here..
sigh..
and i really taught badly..
haha...made the sailors laugh.. quite embarrassing
the sailors all felt that shooting is tough..
esp. air pistol.. but there is a question from me..
they have huge muscles and are stronger than me..
why are they shaking?
i still cant find the answer to this question...
i'm not discriminating these ppl.. i'm just curious.
but that session is really fun...i have better bond with them after it too..
and i'm happy. :) yay.. :D
________________________________________
20th September 2007
Went for shooting...
Know that the ppl from kids central are coming to SAFRA...
only found out yesterday..
i stepped into the place... saw three ppl outside the range...
i have a weird feeling about them..
but didnt bother much..
i just go into the range..then spencer told me and huan..
"u both are wanted.."
i am like "huh", "oh", "oh man"
haha..
they ARE the kids central ppl.
we had a one to one interview thing..
i went first..
ask me a few questions..
said wanna know my personality..
and they took picture of both of us..using a handphone cam..the pixels quite blur.. :(
and.. i saw this lady.. she is gorgeous.. i am awe by her looks and smile man...
hehe hoho haha..
still thinking of her now.. xP
they are really nice ppl.
enjoyed the interview for once.
erm.. i did something embarrasing too..
after they left.. i kind of said loudly.. "huh..never say byebye.."
then i shouted "byebye.." and waved to the closed door..
haha.. then i picked up my bottle of bubble i just bought ystd..
and started blowing lots of bubbles..
i turned my head to the right to admire my bubbles..
then it appeared that there's a lady who havent left yet..
i was like "OH NO.. so ma-lu.. oh man... oh man..."
then i quickly turned away...
and said "pretend u never see anything.."
know what she replied?
"i see anything.."
GREAT.. i am so dead.. =X
so damm pai-seh lah.. but funny too. haha.
After training.. i walked out of the range..
i see huan.. her nose is red and her eyes too.
I think she cried.. but never said it out loud..
We wanted to leave for school.. but keep dragging.. haha..XP
then they (jun, huan and all) talked about a few stuff..
while i blow my bottle of bubbles..XD
and i got back to school..
found out that mr eddie is in hospital..
For Eight hours
Reminds me of that mint chocolate.. haha (:
__________________
21st September 2007
Friday.. home day... dont seem to be looking forward to it..
sigh.
While waiting for huan (HCL lesson), i just noticed something..
she simply love to write with her pen capped on a blank piece of paper..
and she actually "reads" it. -_-
She also like to laugh to herself..like some maniac.. haha.. but very cute.. ^-^
something i like about her.. :)
went for shooting..
shot a little messy but at least i know what's wrong..
haha..then i went back..
i ran for the bus..with my luggage tagging behind me..
my first time running with a huge luggage..hm. wait..it ain't exactly that huge.
Met lao da... chatted with her.. nice chat. laughed loads..
I really miss everyone.. :(
________________________________________
22nd September 2007
Nothing much.. quarrelled with mum again.. haiz. why am i so bad-tempered?
slack with homework once again.. -_-
________________________________________
23rd September 2007
Went for shooting first in the morning..
Monthly shoot just over when i arrived..
Ppl ask me.. "Why are u here?"
"Training"
"wow.. u are sure hardworking..sunday leh!"
Mr eddie "Good.."
Then there is this guy..with ruggard clothes and messy, long, curly hair..
He came to SAFRA..
Had a feeling as though he was my friend..
And i wonder why he is here..
He seemed damn familiar..
It appears that he came to take some photos of SAFRA's facilities for the Youth Olympics 2010.
He just came into the range and took photos.. and took a few of me.. without me saying "yes"..
But for the consecutive shots.. i just kind of allowed him to..
And surprisingly.. i shot quite well during that period.. haha.
He tried shooting.. and totally missed the target card.. which is quite normal among beginners..
Then he started to tell me about his experience (he went for SEA games 4 times, 2 commonwealth games and 1 olympic games to take photos)
Photography is appealing to me..
And i swear that i'm gonna learn it someday.
I swear.
He's Aundrey.
ATXY tm- Mood:
sad
Many things happened during the last week.
There's sad stuff and happy ones.
Let's view it day-by-day.
________________________________________
10th September 2007 , Monday
Woke up late in the morning..probably cos i got to bed very late...
What else? to study lah.
Haha.. gotta rush and rush..
Got back my results...maths i got unexpectedly good results..99.23% and 95%...cant remember which is which.. haha
For chinese i got 71/80...in other words 88.7% ? right? haha. who cares..
U could say that i'm happy..but wait till my results for the rest are out.. sigh.
training in the afternoon is so damn tiring and tough. I'm am totally impressed with myself..cos i actually managed to pull it through. Nice one man.. *patt on me shoulder* haha.XD
It was like "come on guys, last run!!" then later "lets do six more!!"
and all of us were like "OMG"
haiya.. that is him lor. -_-
As usual..got the muscle ache here and there and everywhere...
And as usual, i'm the hardworking type. I studied till wee hours for today. haha..
________________________________________
11th September 2007, Tuesday
Main point for today...
Huan, Jodie and I skipped training and went to the National Sailing Centre (NSC) to watch the sailors sail..
Damn fun.. Mrs Gan played a joke and say that all of them seem to be moving faster than usual cos three of us are here to watch.. and she said that the sailors are trying to show off..haha.. wonder if it is true.. bleah XP
It appears that uncle koh studies photography...oh gosh am i excited.. i am so gonna learn from him.. he took a photo of me.. but its with huan now.. i'll upload it some other time..
The netballers are at the east coast park too.. said that they wanna test the sand there for tomorrow's cluster activity.. not sure whether they're joking or not.. but haha..its fun talking to them..joking all the way.. saying some weird stuff.. talking about huan..saying whether she's straight or "straight".. haha.. so damn funny..
And i wanna say something... huan, i really believe u are straight... believe me.
I want to let her know that i trust her. and i hope she will do so too. even though i think she wont see this journal thingy.
Oh ya.. i got a little tanned too.. dark dark one.. and my eyes.. all three of us had that red line across our little cute eyeballs.. uncle koh said that it is sunburn.. haha.. so damn cool... red line. hehe :D
________________________________________
12th September 2007, Wednesday
Hmm.. never been to training since last friday.. and i am not still not going today.. haha.. =P
We went for the cluster activity organised by the school.. guess what it is?
Building sandcastle...
Fun thing to do...seemed simple but it ain't simple after all...
Grouped with some badminton guys.. haha.. they're really funny during the whole thing.. even though i didnt like their attitude during the activity..but they're really funny..
"Aiya.. anything lah!! any old how build also okay one lah..."
I kind of knock a hole in the sandcastle and ruined it...haha..
The sand we use are really not wet enough..hence the result..
Then the instructor saw our merisable state and cant see us like that any longer..
He came forward and help us... haha..
i feel that we are so damn pathetic... gosh.. -.-
During the presentation of each zone's sandcastle of the future sports school in the next 30 years, i was totally not listening...the sky and the sea is just too attractive...
I cant help but look and admire them...but how i wish there's more clouds...
haha.. wanna tell me to be more contented? okay, i will..
Hmm..for today...i didnt have any sunburn..
why? of course there's no sun..
haha.. the weather's good..not sunny..not rainy..just nicey.. =)
Huan and jodie wanna join another academy for training... for me, i am the type that goes.. "whatever".. haha.. but my coach says i need to run.. so should i ask them to stay with the sailors? But they are kind of cold sometimes..the sailors..
And during the coach trip back to sports school, i smsed my lovely friend whom i treasured loads.. and a sad reply came back.. i got a bad feeling that its about her grandpa.. i asked huan. And it is true..he's gone.. i dunno why but i had that feeling.. Six sense? but whatever it is, he's gone and my dear friend is upset..
I wanna tell her.. stay strong.. i will be behind u all the way.. jiayou.. all the words that i wanna tell her is already in my smses.. so i need not say more..
"I'll be there when u need me..just let me know." I swear..i will do my best to make it true all the time..
If i am in the hostel..i'll find a way to get out and be right beside u.
These two songs are for u..
Ermm.. they are a little mushy.. i just only wanna quote those encouraging words and not the love love mushy words.. ya? dont misunderstand me.. haha.. :)
________________________________________
I'm Your Angel- Celine Dion & R. Kelly
No mountain's too high for you to climb
All you have to do is have some climbing faith
No river's too wide for you to make it across
All you have to do is believe it when you pray
And then you will see the morning will come
And every day will be bright as the sun
All of your fears cast them on me
I just want you to see
CHORUS:
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone I'm here
No matter how far you are I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel, I'm your angel
I saw your teardrops and I heard you cry
All you need is time
Seek me and you shall find
You have everything and you're still lonely
It don't have to be this way
Let me show you a better day
And then you will see the morning will come
And all of your days will be bright as the sun
So all of your fears just cast them on me
how can I make you see?
CHORUS
And when it's time to face the storm
I'll be there by your side
Grace will keep us safe and warm
And I know we will survive
And when it seems as if your end is drawing near
Don't you dare give up the fight
Just put your trust beyond the sky...
CHORUS
________________________________________
Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
It's ok. It's ok. It's ok.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away,
Please tell me you'll stay, stay
Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
________________________________________
13th September 2007, Thursday
Ahh~~ I'm finally going for shooting.. nice break in between though.. i like.. but i'll tend to miss my lovely pistol and pellets..haha. sicko abi. who cares? hehe :D
Hmm.. I found a new technique for my shooting... cool man.. love it.. got "kick"~!
Cos i'm improving..!! haha.. yay~!
Thanks huan for ur diluted milk tea (bubble tea) from sweetalk..even though it taste weird.. but its from u.. i still love it. =) ur jay chou-hui tao guo qu really got into my head.. great song though.. haha.. thanks for replaying it again and again.. XD
Another good news too.. She's feeling better and i'm glad.. yaaayyy~!
I miss all my shooting mates.. *sob* T^T
________________________________________
14th September 2007, Friday
Training for today is good too.. feeling great..
This morning we went to the psycologist thingy...
Talked a lot about our shooting experience..
But i missed out loads of details..
I only remembered them after i talked..
Didnt sleep well i guess.. even though my lovely lihui asked me to sleep early..
haha..sry my lihui.. bleah XP
Went to collect my OBS shirt today..so trained for a very short while.. haha..
was late when i reach cityhall, even though my pap sent me there..
The lady is really very kind.. hope to see her soon.
During my trip back, i thought of visiting my dear friend.. but obviously my mum objects.. i really wanna see her.. to make sure she's fine.. i'm worried even though i sms her all day to ensure it.. i'm a very good friend right? haha.. skin so thick.. XP
but whatever it is.. all the best to all my friends in their lives.. i love all of u..
And i love my family too..even though i quarrel with them most of the time.. haha :)
________________________________________
15th September 2007, Saturday
Wanted to go training.. but got lazy in the end...
Quarrelled with my mother today.. the whole house is noisy today.. haha.. XXP
didnt meant to fight with her.. but everytime i come back from school, i just cant help it.. it will break her heart.. that i know.. dont worry.. i'll try to change.. i promise.
Slacked for the whole day i guess.. except at night.. did my humpty dumpty story..
and slept accidentally.
hehe.. =)
________________________________________
16th september 2007, Sunday
Didnt go training again.. so damn lazy man..
Hope coach is not there then she wont know.. hehe.. xP
loads of homework to do.. dont feel like doing..
My three minute movie cant be done.. my camera cant pause and continue shooting.. so damn irritating..
and my flu plus cough.. it makes me sniff and cough throughout the movie try-out shoot. irritating too.. haha.. XD
Got my hands on some nice great songs.. love them.. yay.. :)
Just realised something..
i love everybody.. and i have not cherish them to the fullest yet.
I really have to treasure my time with them..and i hope i can do so.
________________________________________
Got to rush out hw and zoom off to school le.. byebye~!
Signing off..
ATXY tm
There's sad stuff and happy ones.
Let's view it day-by-day.
________________________________________
10th September 2007 , Monday
Woke up late in the morning..probably cos i got to bed very late...
What else? to study lah.
Haha.. gotta rush and rush..
Got back my results...maths i got unexpectedly good results..99.23% and 95%...cant remember which is which.. haha
For chinese i got 71/80...in other words 88.7% ? right? haha. who cares..
U could say that i'm happy..but wait till my results for the rest are out.. sigh.
training in the afternoon is so damn tiring and tough. I'm am totally impressed with myself..cos i actually managed to pull it through. Nice one man.. *patt on me shoulder* haha.XD
It was like "come on guys, last run!!" then later "lets do six more!!"
and all of us were like "OMG"
haiya.. that is him lor. -_-
As usual..got the muscle ache here and there and everywhere...
And as usual, i'm the hardworking type. I studied till wee hours for today. haha..
________________________________________
11th September 2007, Tuesday
Main point for today...
Huan, Jodie and I skipped training and went to the National Sailing Centre (NSC) to watch the sailors sail..
Damn fun.. Mrs Gan played a joke and say that all of them seem to be moving faster than usual cos three of us are here to watch.. and she said that the sailors are trying to show off..haha.. wonder if it is true.. bleah XP
It appears that uncle koh studies photography...oh gosh am i excited.. i am so gonna learn from him.. he took a photo of me.. but its with huan now.. i'll upload it some other time..
The netballers are at the east coast park too.. said that they wanna test the sand there for tomorrow's cluster activity.. not sure whether they're joking or not.. but haha..its fun talking to them..joking all the way.. saying some weird stuff.. talking about huan..saying whether she's straight or "straight".. haha.. so damn funny..
And i wanna say something... huan, i really believe u are straight... believe me.
I want to let her know that i trust her. and i hope she will do so too. even though i think she wont see this journal thingy.
Oh ya.. i got a little tanned too.. dark dark one.. and my eyes.. all three of us had that red line across our little cute eyeballs.. uncle koh said that it is sunburn.. haha.. so damn cool... red line. hehe :D
________________________________________
12th September 2007, Wednesday
Hmm.. never been to training since last friday.. and i am not still not going today.. haha.. =P
We went for the cluster activity organised by the school.. guess what it is?
Building sandcastle...
Fun thing to do...seemed simple but it ain't simple after all...
Grouped with some badminton guys.. haha.. they're really funny during the whole thing.. even though i didnt like their attitude during the activity..but they're really funny..
"Aiya.. anything lah!! any old how build also okay one lah..."
I kind of knock a hole in the sandcastle and ruined it...haha..
The sand we use are really not wet enough..hence the result..
Then the instructor saw our merisable state and cant see us like that any longer..
He came forward and help us... haha..
i feel that we are so damn pathetic... gosh.. -.-
During the presentation of each zone's sandcastle of the future sports school in the next 30 years, i was totally not listening...the sky and the sea is just too attractive...
I cant help but look and admire them...but how i wish there's more clouds...
haha.. wanna tell me to be more contented? okay, i will..
Hmm..for today...i didnt have any sunburn..
why? of course there's no sun..
haha.. the weather's good..not sunny..not rainy..just nicey.. =)
Huan and jodie wanna join another academy for training... for me, i am the type that goes.. "whatever".. haha.. but my coach says i need to run.. so should i ask them to stay with the sailors? But they are kind of cold sometimes..the sailors..
And during the coach trip back to sports school, i smsed my lovely friend whom i treasured loads.. and a sad reply came back.. i got a bad feeling that its about her grandpa.. i asked huan. And it is true..he's gone.. i dunno why but i had that feeling.. Six sense? but whatever it is, he's gone and my dear friend is upset..
I wanna tell her.. stay strong.. i will be behind u all the way.. jiayou.. all the words that i wanna tell her is already in my smses.. so i need not say more..
"I'll be there when u need me..just let me know." I swear..i will do my best to make it true all the time..
If i am in the hostel..i'll find a way to get out and be right beside u.
These two songs are for u..
Ermm.. they are a little mushy.. i just only wanna quote those encouraging words and not the love love mushy words.. ya? dont misunderstand me.. haha.. :)
________________________________________
I'm Your Angel- Celine Dion & R. Kelly
No mountain's too high for you to climb
All you have to do is have some climbing faith
No river's too wide for you to make it across
All you have to do is believe it when you pray
And then you will see the morning will come
And every day will be bright as the sun
All of your fears cast them on me
I just want you to see
CHORUS:
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone I'm here
No matter how far you are I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel, I'm your angel
I saw your teardrops and I heard you cry
All you need is time
Seek me and you shall find
You have everything and you're still lonely
It don't have to be this way
Let me show you a better day
And then you will see the morning will come
And all of your days will be bright as the sun
So all of your fears just cast them on me
how can I make you see?
CHORUS
And when it's time to face the storm
I'll be there by your side
Grace will keep us safe and warm
And I know we will survive
And when it seems as if your end is drawing near
Don't you dare give up the fight
Just put your trust beyond the sky...
CHORUS
________________________________________
Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
It's ok. It's ok. It's ok.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away,
Please tell me you'll stay, stay
Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
________________________________________
13th September 2007, Thursday
Ahh~~ I'm finally going for shooting.. nice break in between though.. i like.. but i'll tend to miss my lovely pistol and pellets..haha. sicko abi. who cares? hehe :D
Hmm.. I found a new technique for my shooting... cool man.. love it.. got "kick"~!
Cos i'm improving..!! haha.. yay~!
Thanks huan for ur diluted milk tea (bubble tea) from sweetalk..even though it taste weird.. but its from u.. i still love it. =) ur jay chou-hui tao guo qu really got into my head.. great song though.. haha.. thanks for replaying it again and again.. XD
Another good news too.. She's feeling better and i'm glad.. yaaayyy~!
I miss all my shooting mates.. *sob* T^T
________________________________________
14th September 2007, Friday
Training for today is good too.. feeling great..
This morning we went to the psycologist thingy...
Talked a lot about our shooting experience..
But i missed out loads of details..
I only remembered them after i talked..
Didnt sleep well i guess.. even though my lovely lihui asked me to sleep early..
haha..sry my lihui.. bleah XP
Went to collect my OBS shirt today..so trained for a very short while.. haha..
was late when i reach cityhall, even though my pap sent me there..
The lady is really very kind.. hope to see her soon.
During my trip back, i thought of visiting my dear friend.. but obviously my mum objects.. i really wanna see her.. to make sure she's fine.. i'm worried even though i sms her all day to ensure it.. i'm a very good friend right? haha.. skin so thick.. XP
but whatever it is.. all the best to all my friends in their lives.. i love all of u..
And i love my family too..even though i quarrel with them most of the time.. haha :)
________________________________________
15th September 2007, Saturday
Wanted to go training.. but got lazy in the end...
Quarrelled with my mother today.. the whole house is noisy today.. haha.. XXP
didnt meant to fight with her.. but everytime i come back from school, i just cant help it.. it will break her heart.. that i know.. dont worry.. i'll try to change.. i promise.
Slacked for the whole day i guess.. except at night.. did my humpty dumpty story..
and slept accidentally.
hehe.. =)
________________________________________
16th september 2007, Sunday
Didnt go training again.. so damn lazy man..
Hope coach is not there then she wont know.. hehe.. xP
loads of homework to do.. dont feel like doing..
My three minute movie cant be done.. my camera cant pause and continue shooting.. so damn irritating..
and my flu plus cough.. it makes me sniff and cough throughout the movie try-out shoot. irritating too.. haha.. XD
Got my hands on some nice great songs.. love them.. yay.. :)
Just realised something..
i love everybody.. and i have not cherish them to the fullest yet.
I really have to treasure my time with them..and i hope i can do so.
________________________________________
Got to rush out hw and zoom off to school le.. byebye~!
Signing off..
ATXY tmSurprise eh? I am actually posting stuff.. did'nt do that for a long time.. had even forgotten my previous userID.. hence, starting anew.. let's get started..
I didnt wanna care whether i'm gonna have any ppl reading these stuff..and i'm lazy to get some friends for this account.. all i'm gonna do is to pour out my thoughts on this journal.. Nowadays, I've been a little depressed.. not very sure why.. there's a bunch of reasons..and i really need somewhere to express these stuff.. I kinda like poetry..so there..
28 August 2007
I came back from KL
late at night.
I stepped into my house,
full of delight.
I had a grin on my face
until the sight of her
chased it far far away.
I turned to my mother
asking her for answers.
It appeared that she refused to eat
hence being so weak.
The old lady who used to be
even fatter than me,
now became small, weak and frail
and looked like someone from Africa.
She is so skinny
and it gives me the creeps.
My heart is aching
and my brain freeze.
I am starting to worry;
is this the end of her?
I am starting to regret
for not spending more time
with my beloved grandmother.
________________________________________
What should I do?!
She doesn't want to eat.
Took her to the doctor,
and he said it's no matter.
She ate her medicine,
ate her food.
A few days later,
she felt better.
Hence I went back hostel
with a peace of mind.
However,
a few days later,
she refused to eat once again.
Her stomach started to become bloated.
What's wrong with her?
We do not know.
Her lips are sealed so tightly,
no words could escape,
no food could invade.
I'm getting frustrated with her
as I really can't bear to lose her.
Could heaven give me an answer?
Could heaven teach me?
I just want to keep my lovely grandmother
right here beside me forever..
________________________________________
8 September 2007
We were eating breakfast together.
How long was it since the last time we did that?
I started to wonder
why did i not make full use?
Of the moments i had with her?
I poured her a cup of water.
Just such a simple offer.
Could actually bring a lovely smile
across her wrinkled face.
I started to wonder
why did i not offer more of my love,
and bring more smile on her face?
I cleared her plates for her
and i started to wonder.
Will these be the last,
before she merge with the dust?
I'm starting to be afraid of losing her
For she is my beloved grandmother.
________________________________________
Where is she?
"Where's that cheerful abi?"
"Who? Are you asking me?"
"Ya, you. Where is she?"
"I'm not sure, dont ask me."
For I am also looking for her.
I need her badly.
I miss her terribly.
Could someone tell me where is she?
Could someone help me
find her back
and inject her back into me?
I cant smile without her.
My world is lacking happiness.
My world is turned upside down,
I'm falling off my feet.
I feel horrible inside me.
I'm lost.
I dont know what's wrong.
It's just so complicated.
I just cant explain.
My life is horrible.
I need her back.
________________________________________
-6 September 2007-
I was doing my work.. when my dear huan and jodie came over and talk..
Sounds interesting and i simply joined in.
We talked about loads of stuff..about life, happiness, family, shooting, fate, humans..
just so inspiring..kind of made me happier.. thanks gals..
And guess what.. we chat till 2am plus.. cool man..
I thought a lot about these stuff we've talked about..and added this small part
to the poem just now.. here it is..
But in the end,
it all seems
that it wasn't that horrible after all.
All i need to do
is to look at life
from a different perspective
and I can find her back..
I've concluded something else too..but did'nt say it out..
To Err Is Human, To Forgive Divine
Generally meant: When people do things wrong we should try hard to forgive them because all people make mistakes. Cos they're humans.
The verb "err" means to do something wrong; to make a mistake is "to err".
"To err is human" because all people (humans) make mistakes.
Example: "I am still angry about what my manager did yesterday!"
Answer: "It is best to just let it go; to err is human, to forgive divine."
The world of people is "human" and the world of God is "divine".
God's special power to forgive people for their mistakes is called "divine" mercy. When we forgive other people we are acting "divine".
"To err is human, to forgive divine" says that we are all human and we all make mistakes so we should all try hard to forgive other people when they make mistakes.
Because we use the word "is" in the first phrase "to err is human" we do not use "is" again in the second phrase: "to forgive divine".We are all people who make mistakes so to forgive others when they make mistakes is the right thing to do; "to err is human, to forgive divine."
________________________________________
-7 September 2007-
Yesterday i thought i couldn't go for the ratatouille movie..
and became very very angry..
But news came today..that i can skip that talk 'bout the through train programme..
and watch that movie..
I heard that it was a movie full of meaningful lessons and stuff..
and true enough..it is.
"If you dont leave your past behind, you will never know what lies ahead of you.."
"Anyone can cook~!" (seems to me in this way..ANYONE CAN SHOOT~! :D)
and a lot of stuff.. kind of lazy to type more.. hehe ;D
And i got my second person in my life to lie on my shoulders.
I remember the first one...Jasmine..
It was on the last day at Darwin, Australia-12-19 May 2007 at the airport.
She's just tired.
The second one is huan..
During the ratatouille movie.. reason i dont know.. probably for fun..haha
And when i went home..i got this theory from my head.. must thank huan..give me this inspiration.. XP
Why are humans in this shape? To those that believe in god..i could also put it this way.. Why did god made us this way?
Why do we have shoulders?
Notice that a human's head can fit nicely on another's shoulder.. Hence, i conclude that we were given such special shoulders so that others can rest their heads on them...and at the same time to help others share their burdens and problems.. no matter they are happy or sad.
The neck play a part too.. it's curved..hope u can picture it..not sure how to put it into words...
Why do humans have arms?
So that they are able to wrap their arms around others and give them a great hug..
Great way to provide comfort, care and love.. also another way to bring them closer to you..enhancing relationships between both..
Why do humans have thick thighs?
To let ppl sit on? Imagine if the person is heavy..ouch~..haha :P
Others can rest their head on their head on...fat fat one..very comfy.. :D
Why do humans have legs?
So that they can move from place to place and meet more ppl and friends..
They can walk about and experience life, learn new things and stuff..
Why do humans have a heart?
So that they can LOVE~!
Hehe ^_^
Why do humans have a brain?
So that they can think of their loved ones..yay~ XD
I'll think of more next time.. got to go back hostel tonight..haven't complete a single hw or study a single test.. haha so slack..XP
Hmm.. what else? oh ya..not forgetting someone.
I went back with my lovely lihui..
talked about life, humans and happiness..
inspiring day once again.. :D
Not sure whether she will see this at all but i wanna say.. Jia you for ur studies..
Dont sad when ur mother discourage u, k? Just take it that she is doesn't know how to make u feel better..try to understand her, alright? I want to let u know that if u're sad and wish there's someone to talk to..I'll be there~! :) I'll fly like the superman and shoot my web like a spiderman and get there beside u and lend u my listening ear.. and if i am deaf i will buy hearing aid.. haha XD
P.S-even though i know i wont be the first one on ur list-
Feel free to comment if u have any..on anything i've posted. :)
The quote for today~!!
Why u looking at me? O,o'lll
Go look for urself..hehe.. abi lazy to find.. -_-
HEHE~! XP
Signing off...
ATXY tm
I didnt wanna care whether i'm gonna have any ppl reading these stuff..and i'm lazy to get some friends for this account.. all i'm gonna do is to pour out my thoughts on this journal.. Nowadays, I've been a little depressed.. not very sure why.. there's a bunch of reasons..and i really need somewhere to express these stuff.. I kinda like poetry..so there..
28 August 2007
I came back from KL
late at night.
I stepped into my house,
full of delight.
I had a grin on my face
until the sight of her
chased it far far away.
I turned to my mother
asking her for answers.
It appeared that she refused to eat
hence being so weak.
The old lady who used to be
even fatter than me,
now became small, weak and frail
and looked like someone from Africa.
She is so skinny
and it gives me the creeps.
My heart is aching
and my brain freeze.
I am starting to worry;
is this the end of her?
I am starting to regret
for not spending more time
with my beloved grandmother.
________________________________________
What should I do?!
She doesn't want to eat.
Took her to the doctor,
and he said it's no matter.
She ate her medicine,
ate her food.
A few days later,
she felt better.
Hence I went back hostel
with a peace of mind.
However,
a few days later,
she refused to eat once again.
Her stomach started to become bloated.
What's wrong with her?
We do not know.
Her lips are sealed so tightly,
no words could escape,
no food could invade.
I'm getting frustrated with her
as I really can't bear to lose her.
Could heaven give me an answer?
Could heaven teach me?
I just want to keep my lovely grandmother
right here beside me forever..
________________________________________
8 September 2007
We were eating breakfast together.
How long was it since the last time we did that?
I started to wonder
why did i not make full use?
Of the moments i had with her?
I poured her a cup of water.
Just such a simple offer.
Could actually bring a lovely smile
across her wrinkled face.
I started to wonder
why did i not offer more of my love,
and bring more smile on her face?
I cleared her plates for her
and i started to wonder.
Will these be the last,
before she merge with the dust?
I'm starting to be afraid of losing her
For she is my beloved grandmother.
________________________________________
Where is she?
"Where's that cheerful abi?"
"Who? Are you asking me?"
"Ya, you. Where is she?"
"I'm not sure, dont ask me."
For I am also looking for her.
I need her badly.
I miss her terribly.
Could someone tell me where is she?
Could someone help me
find her back
and inject her back into me?
I cant smile without her.
My world is lacking happiness.
My world is turned upside down,
I'm falling off my feet.
I feel horrible inside me.
I'm lost.
I dont know what's wrong.
It's just so complicated.
I just cant explain.
My life is horrible.
I need her back.
________________________________________
-6 September 2007-
I was doing my work.. when my dear huan and jodie came over and talk..
Sounds interesting and i simply joined in.
We talked about loads of stuff..about life, happiness, family, shooting, fate, humans..
just so inspiring..kind of made me happier.. thanks gals..
And guess what.. we chat till 2am plus.. cool man..
I thought a lot about these stuff we've talked about..and added this small part
to the poem just now.. here it is..
But in the end,
it all seems
that it wasn't that horrible after all.
All i need to do
is to look at life
from a different perspective
and I can find her back..
I've concluded something else too..but did'nt say it out..
To Err Is Human, To Forgive Divine
Generally meant: When people do things wrong we should try hard to forgive them because all people make mistakes. Cos they're humans.
The verb "err" means to do something wrong; to make a mistake is "to err".
"To err is human" because all people (humans) make mistakes.
Example: "I am still angry about what my manager did yesterday!"
Answer: "It is best to just let it go; to err is human, to forgive divine."
The world of people is "human" and the world of God is "divine".
God's special power to forgive people for their mistakes is called "divine" mercy. When we forgive other people we are acting "divine".
"To err is human, to forgive divine" says that we are all human and we all make mistakes so we should all try hard to forgive other people when they make mistakes.
Because we use the word "is" in the first phrase "to err is human" we do not use "is" again in the second phrase: "to forgive divine".We are all people who make mistakes so to forgive others when they make mistakes is the right thing to do; "to err is human, to forgive divine."
________________________________________
-7 September 2007-
Yesterday i thought i couldn't go for the ratatouille movie..
and became very very angry..
But news came today..that i can skip that talk 'bout the through train programme..
and watch that movie..
I heard that it was a movie full of meaningful lessons and stuff..
and true enough..it is.
"If you dont leave your past behind, you will never know what lies ahead of you.."
"Anyone can cook~!" (seems to me in this way..ANYONE CAN SHOOT~! :D)
and a lot of stuff.. kind of lazy to type more.. hehe ;D
And i got my second person in my life to lie on my shoulders.
I remember the first one...Jasmine..
It was on the last day at Darwin, Australia-12-19 May 2007 at the airport.
She's just tired.
The second one is huan..
During the ratatouille movie.. reason i dont know.. probably for fun..haha
And when i went home..i got this theory from my head.. must thank huan..give me this inspiration.. XP
Why are humans in this shape? To those that believe in god..i could also put it this way.. Why did god made us this way?
Why do we have shoulders?
Notice that a human's head can fit nicely on another's shoulder.. Hence, i conclude that we were given such special shoulders so that others can rest their heads on them...and at the same time to help others share their burdens and problems.. no matter they are happy or sad.
The neck play a part too.. it's curved..hope u can picture it..not sure how to put it into words...
Why do humans have arms?
So that they are able to wrap their arms around others and give them a great hug..
Great way to provide comfort, care and love.. also another way to bring them closer to you..enhancing relationships between both..
Why do humans have thick thighs?
To let ppl sit on? Imagine if the person is heavy..ouch~..haha :P
Others can rest their head on their head on...fat fat one..very comfy.. :D
Why do humans have legs?
So that they can move from place to place and meet more ppl and friends..
They can walk about and experience life, learn new things and stuff..
Why do humans have a heart?
So that they can LOVE~!
Hehe ^_^
Why do humans have a brain?
So that they can think of their loved ones..yay~ XD
I'll think of more next time.. got to go back hostel tonight..haven't complete a single hw or study a single test.. haha so slack..XP
Hmm.. what else? oh ya..not forgetting someone.
I went back with my lovely lihui..
talked about life, humans and happiness..
inspiring day once again.. :D
Not sure whether she will see this at all but i wanna say.. Jia you for ur studies..
Dont sad when ur mother discourage u, k? Just take it that she is doesn't know how to make u feel better..try to understand her, alright? I want to let u know that if u're sad and wish there's someone to talk to..I'll be there~! :) I'll fly like the superman and shoot my web like a spiderman and get there beside u and lend u my listening ear.. and if i am deaf i will buy hearing aid.. haha XD
P.S-even though i know i wont be the first one on ur list-
Feel free to comment if u have any..on anything i've posted. :)
The quote for today~!!
Why u looking at me? O,o'lll
Go look for urself..hehe.. abi lazy to find.. -_-
HEHE~! XP
Signing off...
ATXY tm- Mood:
depressed
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abby_abi_ab- Abigail
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